It’s been three months since you last heard from me and I have a lot to catch you up on. One of those things has to do with my baby bear, Conner. My sweet, creative, energetic and imaginative little boy, who, despite his boyishly protective and outwardly robust nature, has an incredibly sweet and softhearted disposition. He’s a sensitive child and maybe this is the reason why he gets bullied. But he has a Mama Bear who works around the clock to make sure he is resilient but safe from this year’s bully.
It all started in the fall but during that time Conner and this boy were friends. At first all seemed well. Occasionally this boy would taunt Conner and say some rude things but nothing that concerned me too much as I know children can sometimes be mean. So my focus at that time was to teach my boy resilience. I would say to him, “A bully can’t bully you if you ignore them.”
Over the course of the past several months I’ve had some real conversations with my 10 year about people in the real world. Conner is a deep thinker like me so I knew it was time to start having these conversations. The fact is my boy is sensitive and the world isn’t kind to us sensitive people so I armed him with some strategies that I used growing up. Words hurt though and a bully knows this.
That’s the hard part about being a parent. Well, lets’ be honest, parenting is hard in every respect but this is harder in the sense that we as adults are still trying to navigate this world and figure out how to deal with the ugly side of life. So what makes me even think I am qualified to teach my son about life? What makes any parent qualified? One word: Experience. And experience with a bully or two in my own life, well, I definitely have that.
However, teaching my son some resilience in dealing with the occasional rude comments from people is one thing. But we all know that words hurt and as the year progressed this boy got more and more aggressive in his use of those words. At one point he told my son that he hopes he dies in a fire all because Conner loves DragonBall Z and this kid thinks its “stupid”. At that point though I had already contacted the school twice about this kid. I also found out he was bullying other children on the bus.
The bus driver had made several reports on this kid yet nothing was done. That is until a few weeks when he punched Conner in his head as hard as he could a few times. Conner got off the bus in tears complaining that his head really hurt. When he told me what had happened it took everything in me not to get on that bus and go after that kid. I did, however, call the school right away and left a message with the principal. Only this time I threatened to call the police.
Now of course the last thing I want to do is call the police on any child. But I was at my breaking point with this kid and with the school. Prior to this incident they had done absolutely nothing. Kids have gotten kicked off the bus for less.I had to do something. The sad part about this whole thing is that it even went this far. I shouldn’t have had to resort to threatening legal action in order for the school to finally step in and do their job.
He got suspended for a week from the bus. However, I demanded that this child not be allowed near Conner. I found out through my own investigation that this kid has anger issues. The school knows this, yet does nothing. Now I am pretty sure there are legitimate reasons behind that but the picture is clear. This boy is not getting the help he deserves. If I hadn’t stepped in my son would have been ignored too.
This boy still tries to insult Conner on the bus. He has to be five seats away from him at all times regardless. It tells me that he did not learn his lesson and no one is doing a damn thing about it. I’m sad for this child but I have to look out for my own. Conner now ignores him though which means my talks with him are doing at least some good.
Thank you for reading!
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