July Goals and Turning 40

turning40_rockinrandommom

Yep! This is the month I turn the big 4-0! Turning 40 has been on my mind a lot lately. Actually, my 40th birthday has been on my mind since New Year’s, if I’m being completely honest here. It’s not something I have been looking forward to. In fact, I’ve been dreading it, though not for the reasons you might think.

I dread turning 40 because I don’t want to leave my thirties. And no, it’s not because thirties are younger. Truth be told it has nothing to do with age. I learned so much about myself in my thirties.  I struggled through mental illness most of my life. In my thirties, I fought back. I worked my ass off to overcome my past. Through this work, I learned to accept myself while still working to become a better version of me.

I learned to forgive those who have hurt me. I have also learned to forgive myself. Forgiveness was something I never thought I would know. But it was a goal I set in my thirties and I achieved it. Loving myself was another thing I never thought I would know or understand. Learning to love myself came with healing but I got there. I love myself now. So, turning 40 is bittersweet for me.

turning40_rockinrandommom

You know how people say that when you close one chapter in your life you start a new one? That’s the exciting part. I’m starting a new decade and writing a new chapter in my book of life. Turning 40 is a good thing. At the same time, it’s incredibly sad for me because it feels like I’m leaving behind a friend.

Rather than sulk though, I have decided that this month I’m going to write posts about my mixed feelings towards turning 40. I am going to write about what this means for me in many different aspects of my life. What does motherhood look like? How about career? Where does love play into it?

I have recently discovered several different blogs that talk about the importance of setting blogging goals. So I’m going to work on that. Until now, I’ve just been winging it. Now that I’m turning 40 I want to set new goals and make new rules for myself.

turning40_rockinrandommom

Turning 40 is also surreal. It still doesn’t feel like I’m about to be “over the hill”. What does that even mean anyway? Maybe because we are living longer these days, 40 really doesn’t seem like that big a deal. It is a big deal though. It is because now I am a more confidant person. I’m definitely more confidant now than I ever was in my twenties.

Yes, this is what July brings to me. I am looking forward to sharing most of my thoughts with you as I get ready to start this new chapter!

#turning40

Thanks so much for reading!

myblogsignature_rockinrandommom

 

I am linking this with:

 

Cuddle Fairy

Why 2016 Sucked! And the Good that Came from it

2016sucked_rockinrandommom

So some of you may have noticed that I have been MIA lately. I’d say I’ve been gone for quite some time. Even when I wrote a post, I wasn’t fully engaged with my blog or with all of you. There are a few reasons but the main one is that 2016 turned out to be a major disappointment for me. In other words, 2016 sucked ass!

I’m not into making new year’s resolutions but I did set some goals for myself throughout 2016, none of which panned out. I failed to meet any of them and when I fail at something, I tend to become my own worst enemy. When that happens, depression starts to seep in and take hold. Depression is something I have struggled with my whole life. Most days I win the battle. However, there have been some days where getting out of bed has proven to be my biggest obstacle.

2016_rockinrandommomFor example, one goal I set for myself this year was to finish one of my novels. I also planned to publish my first e-book by December. Neither happened. I have felt uninspired to write much. I think maybe it has to do with productivity or rather, the lack thereof. Not working and not having the proper transportation to work has taken it’s toll. Sending out resumes left and right and not receiving any responses or opportunities for job interviews has been an obstacle. With no inspiration and no job prospects in sight for 2016, feeling a sense of purpose was virtually non-existent and that has somewhat hindered my mental health.

I have also not worked out or gone for a hike in something like 6 months or so. You all know that I thrive and feel so much better about myself and about life when I am able to get outdoors and go for my hikes. Failure to do so this past year has made me realize how much I need it in my life.

Then to end the year with the complete freak show of our so-called presidential election… Well, I won’t even get into that. I’ve already written my take on that so consider this subject matter closed. I am not the only one who had it rough this year. I have spoken to several people who could not wait for 2016 to end.

2016_rockinrandommom 2016 hasn’t been all doom and gloom though. When I feel this down about my life I remind myself of the things I do have. I have my health. I have my wonderful boys who are doing so well that their happiness keeps me afloat and I tell myself that at least I’m doing something right. They remind me every day that life isn’t all about these secondary things. Life is so much more if we simply take the time to see it.

I also know that I must be doing something right somewhere because the universe has seen fit to add a new person to my life. Of the romantic sort. In September I met someone. He and I have been doing well but the best part is we are taking the time to really get to know each other. Only a few people know about him. My boys do not. I’m not one of those parents who introduces her kids to the first person they date right away. I am taking my sweet time with this one because I want to make sure I’m ready and my boys are ready. He understands this and it makes me appreciate him more.

2016_gratitude_rockinrandommomThis romance was completely unexpected too. I wasn’t looking for anything. Neither was he. We hit it off right away though, talking like we’ve known each other our whole lives. He’s funny and sweet. He’s romantic but in a fun way. He’s not over the top, which I really like. He’s so understanding too. He understands that my ex is a part of my life and that I love my kids more than anything. Best of all, he’s genuine. He’s honest and straight forward with me without being mean or disrespectful.

Then there is my best friend. She and I have gotten each other through a lot of tough times this past year. There were a lot of late night texts and phone calls that witnessed many bitch sessions and shed tears. I am so glad she is in my life.

Maybe the beginning of this post was a little misleading but as I reflect on 2016, I realize just how blessed I am and I am happy. The ex-husband has become a good friend. Adam and Conner are growing and thriving every day. My best friend and I are closer than we’ve ever been and I have a truly amazing man who only adds smiles and laughter to my days.

2016 sucked but let’s think positive! May 2017 be our Year!!

Thanks so much for reading!

myblogsignature_rockinrandommom

 

 

 

 

I am linking this with:

 

Cuddle Fairy
Diary of an imperfect mum
Modern Dad Pages

Changes are Happening!

changes_rockinrandommom

You may have noticed that I haven’t been as active on my blog lately. There are several reasons for that. I have been involved in a few projects around my house in addition to some writing projects. Changes are happening in my life that have kept me otherwise occupied.

Writing my first E-Book:

A while back I was asked by several of my readers if I would write a book about some of my experiences growing up that lead to my journey to healing, happiness, and forgiveness. I have been struggling with this for awhile because my childhood trauma is intertwined with others that I respect too much to expose their own stories. However, recently, I have been giving this a lot of thought and have come up with a solution – a way to tell my story without telling someone else’s. So, I am going to start working on this project with the goal to have the book finished by Christmas, if not sooner.

Writing my Fiction:

For those of you who have read my fiction on my blog and want to know more, I am still working on this story as well but I will be making some changes. You know how it is. We writers are constantly revising and re-writing. That’s how it has been with The Vampire and The Zombie Hunter. I’m making a few changes because I really want to get this story right before I share it but I will share it so don’t you worry!

YouTube:

I recently spoke of this and basically came up with some pros and cons of starting a YouTube channel. Since then I have done a lottotally_rockinrandommom of research and basically it’s like starting a blog. You have to have your YouTube name that matches what your content will be about. There are banners and thumbnails and gaining subscribers…It was enough to give me a headache. Haven’t I already been through this with my blog?

Yeah, which is why I feel more equipped to take this project on. I want to use my channel to do previews of music, TV, games, etc but I also want to leave room for speaking about random things that I don’t really write about on my blog. I wanted to have a different YouTube name but for promotions sake, I’m going to keep it with my blog name because I’m lazy and don’t feel like making other social media accounts just to promote my channel. Haha!

Active Living:

March and much of April really sucked! My boys are I were sick through all of March and the weather for April was just plain depressing which really messed with my mental health. Because I wasn’t getting the physical activity I normally get I was feeling sluggish and lazy and that led to irritability and bitchiness. That needed to change so come May I was determined to get my life back on track. I started back with my hiking, which has been so awesome and my boys made my Mother’s Day really special! I’m back and feeling better than ever with more confidence and thinking more positively.

So the next few weeks at least, I will be less involved in linkies and not writing as often on my blog because I really need to concentrate on a few other things right now but I won’t be gone long and I am sure to make an appearance here and there just so ya’ll don’t forget about me:P

Thank you for reading!

mysignature_rockinrandommom

 

 

I am linking this with:

Domesticated Momster
My Random Musings
Rhyming with Wine
Pink Pear Bear
Reflections From Me
R is for Hoppit
Cuddle Fairy
Mummuddlingthrough
Single Parent Pessimist

 

 

Sisterhood of the World Bloggers

wpid-sisterhood-of-world-blogger-award

So Trista over at Domesticated Momster did this fun little “Get to know you” post for the Sisterhood of the World bloggers tag game and I thought I would answer her questions because, well, her questions are awesome!

Here’s the rules…

*Thank the blogger who gave you the award and link back to their blog
*Answer the 10 questions given to you
*Nominate seven bloggers for the award
*Write 10 questions for your nominees to answer
*Display the award on your blog or post

#1

What’s your favorite poison, if you have one? 

While I love wine and drink hard ciders occasionally, my absolute favorite is Strawberry Daiquiris.

#2

What’s the best show you are watching on TV these days and why?

Oh my, well I watch a lot of shows from Criminal Minds to Flash, to Vampire Diaries, to The Walking Dead, to Game of Thrones (which just started, Yay!) but right now I would say my favorite is Outlander. I mentioned this show in my last post but why do I love it? It combines history, romance, sex, science fiction, and action all in one awesome show!

#3

When was the last time you had sex? This can include sex with yourself.

Oh damn! Okay so sex with another person: about 3 years ago and it wasn’t even worth my time, let’s just put it that way. Sex with myself: um, yesterday! Hehehe! That was much more satisfactory, for sure!!

#4

Tattoos or no tattoos?  Piercings?  Any odd places you wish to share?

I have three tattoos and hope to get more! I have a heart with angel wings carrying my oldest son’s name. I have a skull with a dagger through it, holding my youngest son’s name and I have a dolphin. The dolphin was my first tattoo that I got when I was 21. I have my ears pierced and I used to have my belly buttoned pierced.

#5

What was the last piece of writing you read, either book, blog or otherwise, that you thoroughly enjoyed?

Oh boy, this is a tough one because while I have no time for reading a book (the last one was The Hunger Games trilogy), I have read several good blog posts this week. The last one I read that I really liked was actually this post on Trista’s blog.

#6

What was the best part of your day today?

Well, my day just started but yesterday my favorite part of the day was when the hot young guy across the hall from me offered to let me try some chocolate fudge that he made! I haven’t tried it yet but I’m looking forward to it…the food, not the guy…well, my brain just went somewhere dirty. I am a bad, bad girl!

#7

What was the worst part of your day?

Getting up this morning! I was having a great dream, dammit!! Don’t you hate it when that happens?!

#8

What age did you lose your virginity?  

Okay, so this one is a bit of a sore spot for me but I’m going to do my best to answer it while keeping it light and fun: The first time I FREELY GAVE myself to someone I was 21 years old. I am damn proud of that, considering my family truly believed I would be knocked up by the time I was sixteen. Actually, they were the motivation behind waiting so long, so thank you family!!

#9

Iphone or Android and why?

iPhone and the reason why: iTunes, simply put! I have invested so much money into iTunes and have over 1000 songs through iTunes so I won’t stray!

#10

What’s the song you listen to the most these days?

Oh man, I have so many. Right now I am listening to the songs I most recently added to my playlist: Paramore, Icon for Hire, Otherwise, Depeche ModePrince, and Metallica, just to name a few but right now my two favorites on my playlist are Let it Burn by Red and Find My Way Back by Eric Arjes. Go ahead and look them up if you’re interested.

Okay so now my nominees:

CuddleFairy

My Random Musings

Diary of an Imperfect Mum

Reflections From Me

Mum Muddling Through

Absolutely Prabulous

Pink Pear Bear

And the Questions Are:

  1. What was the last thing you ate?
  2. When was the last time you had Me Time and what did you do?
  3. What is the craziest pick up line that was tried on you?
  4. What was your best date ever?
  5. What was the scariest thing you ever did?
  6. What is your favorite thing about motherhood?
  7. What is your least favorite thing about motherhood?
  8. What is the worst book you’ve ever read?
  9. Celebrity crush?
  10. What’s the last song you heard on the radio?

 

Thanks for Playing!

 

 

mysignature_rockinrandommom

 

 

 

I am linking with:

Domesticated Momster
My Random Musings
Pink Pear Bear
The Secret Diary of Agent Spitback
Cuddle Fairy

To YouTube or Not to YouTube

toyoutube_rockinrandommom

Lately I have been toying with the idea of starting my own YouTube channel. I have an account but it’s for personal use and I’d like to keep it that way, especially since my youngest uses that one to watch all of his Minecraft videos.

I am considering starting a new channel that would focus on me reviewing – or talking about TV shows, movies, video games, and of course…MUSIC! This would free up my blog to talk more about other topics such as parenting, mental illness, among other things.

However, I am apprehensive and these are the reasons why:

  1. My YouTube Channel Name – I don’t want to expand my blog name to my channel for a few reasons but the biggest reason is because I want to focus on my reviews and won’t be talking about the things I talk about on my blog, including my boys.  I want the name to match the content of my videos. With that being said though, I’m not the greatest at naming things so coming up with a name is going to take me some time.
  2. The Logistics – I love going onto YouTube and watching various music videos and looking up different gaming tutorials when I get stuck at a certain part of a game. I find these videos really helpful but as far as uploading my own videos, adding links to my blog and social media and just all the other little details of running a YouTube channel, I am a newbie.
  3. Internet Trolls – I have been very lucky so far with my blog not getting any internet trolls because I am not a huge blog and I like it that way but expanding myself to YouTube may invite those attention seekers (because we all know that’s what they are) that just love causing drama. I hate drama but I am also very good at ignoring the drama. It’s called the delete button. Starting my own channel would invite this into my life. Am I ready for that?

lifetooshort_rockinrandommom

Now here are some of the reasons I want to start a YouTube Channel:

  1. Time and Desire – I have a strong desire to voice my opinion about my favorite shows, movies, games, and music but  I don’t always want to, or have the time to write about them. Recording videos of me talking about these things would free up time in my schedule and I also believe that those who read my blog regularly might enjoy getting to know me better in this fashion.
  2. New Knowledge – Getting to know the logistics of YouTube and how it works will not only give me a new experience of technology and gain new knowledge but it will also help me to learn all I can about the ins and outs for Conner, who wants very much to have his own YouTube channel to talk about video games like Minecraft and such. He really wants to emulate his favorite YouTube Heroes and his dad and I finally agreed to allow this when he turns 10. This is something he has been asking to do since he was 5. Now, though, I haven’t enough experience with the site or the knowledge to help him and protect him online.
  3. Adding My Voice – There are already so many videos out there that talk about all of the things I talk about and adding my voice to this vast ocean of other voices may be a struggle but I believe that I will add my own unique insights that others may appreciate, plus, I think it will be fun!

While making my own YouTube channel may invite internet trolls and unnecessary drama and haters, I also want to use this outlet to further express myself, as well as learn all I can through my own experience to help my son with his own channel. I still have more research to do on YouTube but I am hoping that this will be a positive experience for me and eventually, for Conner.

What do you think about me starting a YouTube Channel? Any tips you can give me before I decide to embark on this endeavor?

My Random Musings

 

Thank you for Reading!

mysignature_rockinrandommom

 

 

I am linking this with:

 

My Random Musings
Agent Spitback
Cuddle Fairy