Mama Bear and the Bully

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It’s been three months since you last heard from me and I have a lot to catch you up on. One of those things has to do with my baby bear, Conner. My sweet, creative, energetic and imaginative little boy, who, despite his boyishly protective and outwardly robust nature, has an incredibly sweet and softhearted disposition. He’s a sensitive child and maybe this is the reason why he gets bullied. But he has a Mama Bear who works around the clock to make sure he is resilient but safe from this year’s bully.

It all started in the fall but during that time Conner and this boy were friends. At first all seemed well. Occasionally this boy would taunt Conner and say some rude things but nothing that concerned me too much as I know children can sometimes be mean. So my focus at that time was to teach my boy resilience. I would say to him, “A bully can’t bully you if you ignore them.”

Over the course of the past several months I’ve had some real conversations with my 10 year about people in the real world. Conner is a deep thinker like me so I knew it was time to start having these conversations. The fact is my boy is sensitive and the world isn’t kind to us sensitive people so I armed him with some strategies that I used growing up. Words hurt though and a bully knows this.

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That’s the hard part about being a parent. Well, lets’ be honest, parenting is hard in every respect but this is harder in the sense that we as adults are still trying to navigate this world and figure out how to deal with the ugly side of life. So what makes me even think I am qualified to teach my son about life? What makes any parent qualified? One word: Experience. And experience with a bully or two in my own life, well, I definitely have that.

bullydifferent_rockinrandommomHowever, teaching my son some resilience in dealing with the occasional rude comments from people is one thing. But we all know that words hurt and as the year progressed this boy got more and more aggressive in his use of those words. At one point he told my son that he hopes he dies in a fire all because Conner loves DragonBall Z and this kid thinks its “stupid”. At that point though I had already contacted the school twice about this kid. I also found out he was bullying other children on the bus.

The bus driver had made several reports on this kid yet nothing was done. That is until a few weeks when he punched Conner in his head as hard as he could a few times. Conner got off the bus in tears complaining that his head really hurt. When he told me what had happened it took everything in me not to get on that bus and go after that kid. I did, however, call the school right away and left a message with the principal. Only this time I threatened to call the police.

 

Now of course the last thing I want to do is call the police on any child. But I was at my breaking point with this kid and with the school. Prior to this incident they had done absolutely nothing. Kids have gotten kicked off the bus for less.I had to do something. The sad part about this whole thing is that it even went this far.  I shouldn’t have had to resort to threatening legal action in order for the school to finally step in and do their job.

He got suspended for a week from the bus. However, I demanded that this child not be allowed near Conner. I found out through my own investigation that this kid has anger issues. The school knows this, yet does nothing. Now I am pretty sure there are legitimate reasons behind that but the picture is clear. This boy is not getting the help he deserves.  If I hadn’t stepped in my son would have been ignored too.

This boy still tries to insult Conner on the bus. He has to be five seats away from him at all times regardless. It tells me that he did not learn his lesson and no one is doing a damn thing about it. I’m sad for this child but I have to look out for my own. Conner now ignores him though which means my talks with him are doing at least some good.

Thank you for reading!

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Reflectionsfromme
Cuddle Fairy
diaryofanimperfectmum

Protesting the President

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I’m not protesting the president. I have no interest in doing any such thing. Except for maybe on my blog. That’s a form of protest right? I will talk a little bit about the protesting that has been going on but that is also not the reason for this post.

Instead, what I’m going to talk about is a local high school – my son’s high school to be exact – organizing a walk out today at lunch time and getting an email about it from the principal the night before. I’m also going to talk about how I am against this idea and am actually disappointed in the principal for encouraging this course of action by the local high school students. And no, my son was not a part of it.

But let me back up a minute. I’m all for our children speaking their minds and letting all of us adults know how disappointed they are in our decision to vote in such an ass as Donald Trump. I’m all for our children expressing their opinions on any matter, especially those that directly affect them, which we all know this will. Just because our children can’t legally vote yet, doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be heard. Our children are far more informed about our government and the corruption within it than my generation ever was at that age so kudos to them for speaking up and demanding to be heard.

My problem isn’t with the high school students standing up in protest. My problem is the method used and the misguided encouragement given by the school to allow a walkout. Here’s why:

Walkouts Do Absolutely Nothing

So a group of students at one high school, in one small town, in one state stage a walkout. Is it newsworthy? Hardly. Maybe it’s news worthy here in the local sector but is this message going to get all the way to the white house? Nope. So, what does this actually accomplish accept that the school has given some false sense of pride to children. This was purely to make them feel good.

The Point Of A Protest Is…

To get the attention of the people or organization you are protesting against. What protesting is not, however, is starting riots in the streets and burning down buildings just to try to make a statement. Yeah, I heard the news about all the protests going on right now. I heard about all of the injured people in hospitals and businesses having to close their doors because they were looted or their building was set on fire. Not cool people. Not cool.

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I can’t help but think of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Now there was a man who knew how to protest. He knew what his goal was. Dr. King lead peaceful protests down Main Street (I’m guessing on the street) and got the attention of the entire world. The man didn’t lead riots. He didn’t loot local businesses. And he certainly didn’t hurt anyone in the process. He got hurt but he refused to get violent with anyone.

What If The Protest Was With The High School?

In case no one has noticed, our children are sorely undervalued in this country so protesting our government won’t do much. Now if these same students had a grievance against the school, or the school district you bet your sweet ass that walk out would have been squashed the moment the word “walkout” was uttered.

My high school class of 1995 staged a walkout once. I believe it was over our principal taking away senior hook day or something. I can’t really remember but that walkout was crushed pronto and anyone participating found themselves in deep shit. Needless to say, it went bye-bye in the blink of an eye. While walkouts are a from of peaceful protest it’s the context of the walkout that I disagree with.

protesting_rockinrandommomMaybe I’m wrong though. Maybe I’m overthinking it a little – or under-thinking it? But when I get a note from my younger son’s 4th grade teacher about the fact that I wouldn’t make Conner do his homework last week, it makes me wonder some things. The reason for the disappearance of the homework Nazi last week was because they had two days off from school. I adamantly believe that homework itself is a huge waste of everyone’s time but two or more days off from school should qualify for a homework break. Oh but we must follow the rules right?

We must follow the rules and never disagree with those rules. Unless we are talking about our new President? Does anyone else see the holes in this logic? Yes, rules are there to follow but we are also allowed to disagree and even protest against them if need be.

What do you think? I’d love to hear your comments.

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I am linking this with:

Rambles, Rants, & Writings
DomesticatedMomster
Diary of an imperfect mum

 

 

 

Election Day and How I’m Voting

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So tomorrow is Election Day here in the United States of America. United. Now that’s a funny word isn’t it? The last time this country was truly united was the day of one of this countries’ most horrific tragedies, September 11, 2001. I already wrote about my feelings on that day in another post that you can view HERE  Since then we have never been more divided. Wait, not true. The Civil War trumps the present but truth be told, it seems we really aren’t that far off now are we?

We have been divided for way too long. We are always fighting with each other. Christian versus Muslim. Black versus White. Republican versus Democrat. That’s the current mood now. Election Day brings out the haters of both groups and the campaigns have brought about so much hatred towards so many other groups. Instead of a country united in one cause to vote for the best leader (Ha! That is seriously debatable), we are focusing our energy into putting down the opposing party for various reasons and anyone who votes either of those ways.

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Here’s the thing: I love that our country has the right to vote for our leaders. I love that (in theory) we, the people, get to elect our leaders on merit and leadership skills. That’s how it’s supposed to be anyway. In reality, however, we the people don’t matter because our government sucks ass. The media are too busy pushing one agenda or another and the corporations of our country run both. Yet, come Election Day I will still be at the voting booth because after all, it is my right.

So Who am I going to Vote for?

Well, sorry to burst ya’ll’s bubbles but I’m not voting for either of these assholes! Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. Why vote at all if I’m not going to vote for either Trump or Clinton? There are a few reasons:

  1. Because of the women who fought long and hard for my right to vote. They were beaten. Some were tortured. Did you know that the first women’s movement actually started in 1848? However, the women’s suffrage movement didn’t form until May of 1869 by Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton. It was specifically geared to gain women the right to vote. Did you also know that in 1913 Alice Paul and Lucy Burns organized and formed the congressional union and they picketed the white house several times? This landed them in jail but they didn’t give up. Women finally won the right to vote on August 26,1920.
  2.  Two other people are on the ballot. I’ve looked into them. I have done some serious research into all of the candidates and I will be voting for a third party. Most people don’t even realize there are two other people on the ballot.
  3. Voting for someone other than Clinton or Trump keeps my conscience clear while fulfilling my duty as an American citizen to vote. This is my little form of protest and show of disgust towards our election system and how bad it has gotten. The way these campaigns are run now shows so much disgrace and disrespect for our country.

electionday_rockinrandommomDo I think this person will win? Not a chance. Because most people will undoubtedly and unfortunately vote for one of the primary candidates that have absolutely no interest in the American people or making this country great again. I don’t care what they say. I’ve been told that I’m throwing my vote away and therefore it is a waste of time. I disagree. Whether or not my chosen candidate wins or not I am still honoring my country by going to the voting booth tomorrow.

Besides, there are other things to vote for. You know how we all get those “Vote No for number 5” flyers in the mail? Those are things worth voting for. My chosen candidate may not make a great president but the God’s honest truth is, none of them are truly qualified. Why? Because we just don’t seem to make great leaders anymore. Where did those leaders go? The ones who call themselves leaders are so full of corruption they wouldn’t know true leadership if the leaders of old rose from their graves, pounded on their doors and punched them in the face.

Hey, I know! Maybe we should require all members of government of go through leadership boot camp before taking on the role of leader. Most of them wouldn’t make it through the first day. We do it for our military members. Why not do this for our government as well?

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Update: Yeah we all know who won the Presidency. Let’s just hope he surprises us all and adds many positive changes. I’m doubtful but hey, stranger things have happened. Like Donald Trump becoming President.

Thanks so much for reading!

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I am linking with these rockin’ linkies:

Rambles, Rants, & Writings
Reflectionsfromme
Diary of an imperfect mum

 

 

Subconscious Racism: Why Can’t We All Just Get Along?

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In the wake of the recent tragedies this past week, I am writing on a topic I simply can’t ignore. Ignoring it is what got us here in the first place.

Do you remember the 90’s sitcom with Martin Lawrence called Martin? Do you remember his famous line he said all the time, especially when he was frustrated? He would say, “Can’t we all just get along?” I haven’t seen that TV show in a long time but I remember that phrase.

For the past several years here in the United States, there has been so much unrest. It seems these days we are fighting with each other over every little thing.

Other things, however, have needed to be talked about for a long time but had been pushed under the rug. Until recently. If you haven’t been living under a rock, then you know where this is going. We are talking about racism. I don’t know about you but in light of the killing of two black men by police officers this past week, then cops killed in the same week, I feel like we just re-wound the clock back to the 1960’s and we are living the civil rights movement all over again. Of course, most people who lived through that would say it was a lot worse.

hateracism_rockinrandommomHere’s the thing though, racism never went away. It was always there, trudging in the muddy waters of our collective psyche, just waiting to climb its way out again. Instead of hashing out our differences and talking about racism and how to solve it, our society decided to hide it away in our closets. They missed the opportunity back then to figure this shit out.

Yup, instead of facing the issue head on and dealing with it, they decided to stick their heads in the sand like an ostrich. Yes, they did make new policies and made discrimination illegal. They passed new laws but they didn’t TALK ABOUT IT!

Suddenly racism and sexism didn’t exist. They acted like as long as we ignore the problem it will go away – eventually. I do believe our leaders at the time truly believed that as long as they made discrimination illegal, racism and sexism in particular, would just go away. I believe their intentions were good but it didn’t solve the problem. What is the problem though? I think that’s what so many are confused about today. Because we have buried this so deep do we even know?subsconsciousracism_rockinrandommom

I was watching CNN yesterday and several intelligent people were talking. They mentioned that even though we don’t acknowledge the existence of racism, it’s in our subconsciousness. Our subconscious thoughts are every bit as real as our conscious thoughts. The best way I can try to explain this is a little snippet from my childhood.

Growing up in a major city and the surrounding areas can be a complex experience. While my family would never openly say something racist, behind closed doors I heard racist comments all the time.

When I was 16, a family member had seen a white woman walking hand in hand with a black man. Interracial relationships were a big controversy back then. She said, “Look at that. That makes me sick!” I had to ask why it bothered her so much. Her response was, “Because it’s wrong!” I then said, “Well, they’re not bothering me. I’m not walking in their shoes. I’m not living their life.” I am very much about the motto, Live and Let Live.

That really pissed her off so when another female family member came by, she had to tell her all about my evil way of thinking. Both women decided to “educate” me on the evils of black men. You know the stereotypes: How they rape white women and beat them up. Except that every man who ever hurt me was actually white. I know better as an adult.

It’s that subconscious thought that I’m talking about. In all of American society whether you are white, black, Hispanic, or other; we all have these stereotypes in our heads about the other races. We have similar stereotypes between the sexes. Similar between the social classes and sexual orientation. The list goes on.

My point is this: Maybe the officers didn’t consciously attack those men out of racism. But what about subconsciously?

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I don’t have an answer to solve this problem but what I do know is that we have to stop hiding our skeletons. We must bring them out of the closet and face our demons. If we don’t deal with this now, we will hand this problem down to the next generation. The two men didn’t deserve to die. The officers in Texas didn’t deserve to die. We have to do better than this! What are your thoughts? Please be respectful when commenting.

I am adding this video of a YouTuber that I like. He’s a thinker and I love thinkers. He gives another perspective.

Thanks so much for reading!

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I am linking this with:

Reflections From Me
My Random Musings
Rhyming with Wine
Pink Pear Bear
Cuddle Fairy
Diary of an imperfect mum
Domesticated Momster

 

The Downside to Easter

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This time last year I had just left my job as a Developmental Specialist. I went through a period of depression and I felt very lost and incompetent for awhile. My job had really messed with my confidence so I wasn’t in the best of places when Easter came along. Even though Easter already makes me cringe (One downside to Easter) for reasons I will get to soon, I still did my due diligence and called family members wishing them a Happy Easter.

The first family member I called though, set my already sour mood into a “I hate the world” mood by the end of that brief conversation. It started out fine. I said Happy Easter, she said it back then asked what I was making for dinner because Easter dinner is important. Well, not having a job and a very limited budget, I didn’t have much food in the house so I wasn’t going to be making a big meal so I said I didn’t know. That wasn’t good enough, however, and the conversation quickly went down hill from there.

christiansnob_rockinrandomomBefore I knew it, I am being given the third degree about the importance of Easter to which I then respond, mostly out of defiance, that I don’t like Easter. Next thing I know, I being called a Jesus hater and that she is not going to pray for me anymore. Really? This person has always had a way of making me feel like the worst person in the world. If it hadn’t been for my sister calling me five minutes later, that whole day would have went very differently.

But let’s go back a ways…

Long before I learned the real reason Easter is celebrated, I always got weirded out by a giant bunny giving away his eggs. I remember when I was about 4 or 5 years old and I saw the Easter Bunny at a store and children sitting on his lap to take pictures. I can’t put my finger on it but I find the Easter Bunny creepy. Don’t get me wrong, I loved going on the Easter egg hunt, competing with my siblings to see who could find the most Easter eggs and like any other kid, HELLO CANDY!

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This is when I was put in front of the TV each Easter and forced to watch King of Kings as a way to drive home the real reason Easter is celebrated. I say forced because it wasn’t my choice. I was a kid. I would have much rather watched Thundercats or  G.I. Joe but I wasn’t given choices back then. I wasn’t allowed to think for myself or have my own opinions. Even my feelings, if I tried to talk about them out loud, were considered “wrong.”

However, I did get something out of that movie. I saw the ignorance of human beings. The hate and fear that led them to torture a kind soul. It’s that ignorance that still plagues us today. In my mind, if we are to truly show respect and honor to this great man who sacrificed everything so that we have a place in heaven, wouldn’t it be feasible to do away with the ignorance, hate, and fear that led him to the cross in the first place?christian_rockinrandommom

Jesus, to me, wasn’t just the son of God. He was a human being who sought to change things. He saw pain and suffering everywhere he went and worked to fix it. He changed the world in so many ways and yet here we are, thousands of years later, still ignorant. Still hateful. The way we treat each other is unacceptable!

We are celebrating the fact that a man died to get us into heaven but we have failed to see that he did so much more. So we will get into heaven. Big deal. It isn’t really worth it if we can’t take the teachings of a man who sacrificed for us and apply those to our every day living. We are hypocrites! Even fellow Christians are judgmental and cruel to those who dare to question or disagree. Note: Not all Christians. Just putting that out there

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I said this to someone the other day

 

We Americans are about to put an ignorant, judgmental, fool in the white house and why? Because despite all of human evolution, we are still just as ignorant as ever! We live in fear and we allow hate to fill our hearts and cloud our judgment. It isn’t just America but all over the world. We fail to see the bigger picture!

So, this Sunday we will celebrate the resurrection of one of the most influential people of all time so that we can go on judging each other and hating each other because hey, we are all getting into heaven regardless right? This is the Downside to Easter.

 

 

I am linking this with:

 

Life with Baby Kicks
Domesticated Momster