I know Adam has just started the 8th grade. Preparing for High School might be too soon. This is his last year of Junior High and his next step before adulthood is high school. In fact, High School is his LAST STEP before adulthood. Last year, he had such a great year. He got Honor Roll all year long but the year didn’t go without it’s minor hiccups. It was as much of a transition for me as it was for him. It was more so for me because rather than keep in touch with the teachers through notes or phone calls, I was now being expected to use email and Power School in order to get informed of his grades and his progress.
Power School doesn’t tell me if he is making any friends (neither does he). Power School doesn’t tell me how he is getting along with his teachers or how often he is participating in class. With a child who has Autism, keeping an open and honest communication with the school is so important.
Last week I attended Open House for Adam’s school and everything went well. Most of his teachers love him and think he is such a great asset to their class. I did say, Most though. The last two teachers, Science and Social Studies, I didn’t get much good feedback. These are the same two classes that Adam excelled in last year but last year he had two teachers who were more understanding and had more personal experience with people on the spectrum. The vibe I got from these two new teachers, both of whom came from the high school he will be attending next year, were less than encouraging.
They both said he was disruptive but that he is getting better. He has a paraprofessional working with him in the classroom and from what all of the teachers told me, the paraprofessional is amazing with Adam. While I am very happy with that, I am not happy with the look of annoyance on the Science teacher’s face, and I’m not happy with the remark from the Social Studies teacher when she said, “His behavior just won’t be acceptable in high school.”
So, now I am a little worried. I’m not stressing to the point that I can’t think straight and I need to down a bottle of wine in order to cope, but I am conflicted about things now because I am thinking two things:
- There’s the part of me, the protective mother side, that says, “What the hell do you expect? He has friggin’ Autism and he’s doing the best that he can. He is in a class of 20 students where he is bound to get a little overwhelmed at times.”
I’m going to vent a little here because this is my boy and I want to protect him from the world. I want to shield him from all of the nasty, impatient people he will meet in his life and it’s only going to get harder from here. This is just middle school. What’s going to happen when he gets to high school? If High School can’t handle him, what about College? Is this why so many people on the Spectrum DON’T go to college?
2. Here’s the other side of me, the fighter who knows what her son can do: I need to prepare him for High School and I need to start now. I need to get him ready for those teachers who aren’t going to be too happy with him when he blurts out a statement about not liking the class or the lesson of the day. I need to get him ready for peers who will be less than understanding.
Up until now, he has had it made. We’ve been very lucky that he has the classmates he has. In Elementary school, he grew up with all of the kids. He had the same classmates from kindergarten to 6th grade. When going into Middle school, they all followed him there. He just gained about 50 more classmates. High school will be even bigger though and College will be bigger than that. These are the steps they take as they grow and prepare for the world.
I’m going to start small. He’s already an independent person so I need to take advantage of that and help him build on his strengths. I will recruit his IEP team to help with his independence but mostly, we need to help him with the social aspects of this world. This is the biggest issue right now. People with Autism don’t understand tact. That’s because they don’t understand the abstract. At the same time, I want people to accept him for him. Compromise is key. I know he can do this! I am going to help him!
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