Rockin’ Quote #35: Love Yourself Enough to Set Boundaries

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It’s been awhile since I’ve posted a new quote. I belong to a positivity community on Facebook. My friend and fellow blogger, Becky posted a wonderful quote that really resonated with me. Love yourself enough to set boundaries. So I’m going to share it here because it fits so well with my life and my blog.

It also works well with my recent experience with a friend. He said something that offended me but also made me question some decisions. Then I saw this quote and I was immediately reminded of why I made my choice. It is a reminder to love yourself. It is also a reminder not to be afraid to set boundaries with others.

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Over the weekend I was gaming with one of my best gal pals when we started playing with another friend of mine. He is also friends with my ex-boyfriend. Since the breakup and my decision to exclude him from my life, I don’t chat with our mutual friends as often.

For whatever reason, my friend decided to comment on this fact and he said we both were being immature about the whole thing. I’ll admit that I was definitely offended by his remark. While I can have my immature moments as we all can, making the decision to eject someone from my life who was affecting my mental health and happiness was about boundaries and that is the opposite of immature.

I don’t believe my friend had any vicious intent when he said that. His perspective on life is different from mine. He’s also young and like myself at his age, he is surrounded by negative people and isn’t given many choices to see life from a different perspective. However, his words did affect me. They made me think twice about my decision not to continue any sort of friendship with my ex-boyfriend.

I was going back and forth about this for a couple of days when I saw the quote. It was like a light bulb went off in my head. Bam! I have set a boundary for myself and I intend to keep it. My decision is based on what I deserve. It’s about the kind of people I want to have in my life – and the kind of people I don’t want in my life.

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If you love yourself, naturally you will set boundaries for yourself. But is it as cut and dry as that? It took me a long time to learn to love myself. It also took me a long time to recognize my own worth and set boundaries. However, I didn’t always know what boundaries even meant. Growing up, kids were “just kids”. Boundaries wasn’t even a word in the vocabulary in my house.

My aunt often reminded me that my room was her room because it was her house. My clothes and toys she paid for so if she decided to take something away from me, I had no right to argue. If she was mad at me – which was often – she would either take something of mine that I loved or break it just to prove a point.

As a parent, I see my children very differently than she saw me. I value them as human beings with the right to their privacy but also the right to set their own boundaries. I tell them all the time to “love yourself”. That includes setting boundaries. I have two examples of this:

From the time my youngest was a baby, during tickle time I would often pat him on the butt. When he was about 6 years old, he came to me one day after I patted him and said, “Mommy please don’t do that anymore. I don’t like it.” While I will admit that it was tough to break the habit, I respected his wishes. After all, if I’m teaching him to set boundaries with others, then I must allow him to set his own boundaries with me as well. It’s his body and he has a right to say no, even to me.

My second example is my teenager. He closes his door and shuts himself in his room every day. As his mother who is used to just walking in at any given moment, I had to re-adjust my habit to knocking before entering. It was hard at first going from having a little boy whose door was always open to having to knock but this is his boundary.

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This isn’t something that is necessarily taught or modeled in all households. So not all children become adults that understand their own boundaries, let alone understanding and respecting anyone else’s.

I can now say with full confidence that I have set a boundary and those boundaries will be respected. If not, then those people who fail to be respectful of my wishes can step away. As the quote says, my time and energy is precious. I get to choose how to use it. Love yourself. Only then will you truly know what your boundaries are.

What are your thoughts on boundaries? Leave me a comment below.

Thanks so much for reading!

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I am linking this with:

 

My Random Musings

 

Reflectionsfromme

 

Monday Stumble Linky

 

One Messy Mama

 

Burnished Chaos

 

Shank You Very Much

Mother of Teenagers

Cuddle Fairy

 

32 thoughts on “Rockin’ Quote #35: Love Yourself Enough to Set Boundaries

  1. These are some nice quotes to hang on to. It’s far easier to stand your ground when you love yourself like you said. I think many people fall short on loving themselves in our society today.

    1. I think so too! Society has a very small view of self-sacrifice and has for generations. Particularly where women are concerned we are supposed to put others before ourselves. The notion of loving oneself and self-care is a relatively new one and I’m glad I am a part of it. We can’t truly focus on others until we first learn to love and value ourselves:)

  2. This is a great quote and you explain the viewpoint so well – it isn’t selfish or self-indulgent and that appeals to me. It’s something I’m learning to do more of as I get older. Perhaps I am more self-assured as I get older. Thanks so much for sharing with us at #TweensTeensBeyond

    1. I think that’s what I am experiencing with getting older too. I’m becoming more self-assured as I get older and that is encouraging me to set more clear boundaries with people. Either way though I think it’s good that we set them in order to ensure a happier, healthier life. Thanks so much for your lovely comment:)

  3. Michelle life is too short to make compromises. Boundaries are essential to day to day living whether in relation to physical, behavioural or emotional circumstances. We teach our children boundaries of behaviour from an early age and as an adults we need them too. Stick to your guns and do what is right for you. No explanation needed. Good luck and thanks for linking. #TweensTeensBeyond

    1. That’s exactly where I am in my life Jo and thank you so much for your support. As I get older I realize more and more that I don’t need to make compromises for others if it affects me in an unhealthy way. Life is too short to be worried about what others think in regards to who I have in my life and who I don’t. Thanks so much for reading!😊

  4. I couldn’t agree with you more. Everyone has the right to choose who they let into their life and what their boundaries are. Being surrounded by negativity just sends you spiralling, it’s so important for your own health to step back from those situations. Thank you for joining #FamilyFunLinky x

    1. Exactly! There is no reason to keep people in our lives who only serve to bring us down with them into their despair and misery. I’ve been much happier and more productive since I made my decision and I am going to stick to it because I know what I want and what I deserve and that’s happiness and good people. Thanks so much for your supportive comment Alana:)

    1. Yes, and I have discovered that as well. It’s better to be happy than to except those in our lives who make us unhappy. Thanks so much for stopping by!

    1. That may be the case for you in which case you have to decide what you want and if the negativity is something you can live with or would rather live without. Another thing that my friend failed to understand is that my ex-boyfriend wasn’t the only problem. The amount of negativity that flows through that group of friends – and they allow random people to join their chats who are just straight up jerks – is staggering for someone like me. I pick up on it like a magnet and before I know it I’m in a bad mood. I don’t want to be in a bad mood, especially because of what others are throwing at me. I have chosen not to be a part of it. I have a great group of friends who are very uplifting and positive and once you get a taste of that, you don’t want to allow the negativity back in. At the end of the day Jeremy, YOU have to be happy. I hope you’ve gotten some inspiration from reading my post:)

  5. You explain boundary setting so well. And it’s so true that others may not understand it & may see it as being selfish or immature. Im glad to read you don’t let that bother you. Beautiful quotes & post xx

    1. Thanks so much Becky! I’m glad that this post is resonating with so many people but I’m not surprised because the quote itself resonated with me right away. Yes, there are people out there who will see it as selfish or immature but if we truly want to set our own boundaries then we have to stick to our guns and stand strong. Thanks so much for your lovely thoughts:)

  6. I loved reading this. It takes a long time to learn how to set boundaries. Our kids set them instinctively, like yours and their bum pat / bedroom door and yet somewhere between the teenage years and adulthood, we lose the ability to understand what’s good for us. It takes a while to realise the negative people around you are dragging you down and even longer to learn how to set boundaries and understand why you’ve a set them
    Ray recently posted…Boy’s Spring/Summer Wishlist 2018My Profile

    1. That is very true about kids have instinctive boundaries. I hadn’t thought of it like that. I think that generally, we want to get along with everyone we meet but we slowly find out over the years that it’s just not possible in order to keep ourselves happy. But it does take us a long time to figure out that we deserve to be happy and sometimes that means not having negative people in our lives. I love your thoughts on this! Thanks so much for stopping by:)

    1. That’s great that these quotes are already something that you live by. I needed the reminder of how I want to set my own boundaries and stick to them. Thanks so much for reading!

  7. I think boundaries are important–and respecting them is hard. My teen has also started closing his door. I have to respect that he needs time away from his parents and sister and this is his own boundary.

    #globalblogging

    1. Yes, I remember how hard it was to respect this boundary that my son had set up and it’s sometimes still hard for his little brother to respect it when all he wants to do is play but I try to keep the balance between the two because I believe that is important for both of them to understand and respect each other’s boundaries. Thanks so much for your thoughts:)

    1. Yes, that is what I aim to model for my children so that they don’t go out into the world with no boundaries and no sense of respect for others’. Thanks so much for your comment:)

  8. Love it! I think it is up to each person who they allow to remain in their life. No one else should get a say and it’s pretty ridiculous to think that since you dated you must be life friends. I’m not friends with anyone I dated, not because they were bad people, but they were temporary people in my life. #AnythingGoes
    Heather Keet recently posted…#ShankYouPets week 3…My Profile

    1. Yeah, the only ex who is still in my life is the father of my children. Anyone else I’ve ever dated I’ve lost contact with and it continues to be my choice who I let into my life. I also believe that once the trust has been broken – which was the case with the last guy I dated – there is no going back. That is how I look at it and how I choose to deal with it and no one else has a say in it. Thanks so much Heather! No one else has a say is exactly what I needed to be reminded of:)

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