I’m just going to put this out there and get it out of the way…I am not a Valentine’s Day person. That’s right, Valentine’s Day is not my thing. It’s not that I hate Valentine’s Day but that I don’t put much stock in it. I find it boring and a waste of time. I mean seriously, we take one day each year where we HAVE TO show love and affection to our other half, spend a boat load of unnecessary money, just because some holiday says we have to. Where is the fun in that? Here are just a few reasons why I’m not in love with Valentine’s Day:
- It’s not spontaneous! I realized this while I was married. Each year, my ex and I had certain expectations. Because we were parents and we had little money, we did the same thing every year: dinner, movie, hotel, hot tub. After year three of this, I realized that the best part about romance and sex is that, for me, it needs to be spontaneous. Call me crazy but sex is one of those things that if the spirit moves me, I’m going for it but if it is expected of me, I get cranky and uh, no…just no.
- Where is the surprise? One of the things I love to do is surprise my man. I used to buy sexy cards for my ex for no damn reason. It was just because and I really enjoyed the look on his face when he got those cards. I love surprising the ones I love because I love doing things on a whim. That’s just who I am. Valentine’s Day doesn’t do that for me. Instead, the surprise is limited by “ooh, what’s _______ going to get me this year?” First off, we just left Christmas behind where I’m sure we pretty much got what we wanted. Secondly, if you have been with your other half for a long time, you start to predict what it is they will get you every year. You know each other so well, you can predict this and this becomes boring. Unless that person is truly unpredictable and is able to come up with all sorts of creative ways to surprise you and vice versa, I say leave the gift giving to Christmas and birthdays.
- Kids get in the way. Let’s face it, as parents, we really don’t have time to be spontaneous and romantic and sexy… We have kids who need our constant attention. Either they mysteriously get sick that day (this has happened to me a few times), or you can’t find a babysitter at the last minute because, well, in all honesty you forgot about Valentine’s Day until it suddenly smacks you in the face and oh damn, it’s Valentine’s Day already?, or the babysitter decides to cancel on you at the last minute so you resign, once again, to parking your ass in front of the TV with some take-out and you’re lucky if sex even makes an appearance.
- Romantic gestures should be all year! Now, as a parent, romance isn’t always on my mind. I have a lot going on in my life and I really don’t have time for it. I’m also a single parent so that sort of plays into it but when I was married, the little every day things like when he got up with the baby in the middle of the night or let me sleep in on Sundays, were more important than one big romantic gesture once a year.
- It adds Stress! We adults are under enough stress just going to work every day, then coming home and raising kids who we are always thinking that we have damaged somehow. Having to remember the holiday and then having to come up with a plan for the day and money to spend is not my idea of romance. Romance should be fun, not stressful.
When it comes to love, romance, and sex I’m all about the fun and the spontaneity. I love being completely surprised because it makes it that much more special to me. I love living in the moment with it and allowing it to sweep me up into a momentary whirlwind. I am also not one for the big romantic gestures that the movies make such a big deal about. Also, as a single parent, my kids are my Valentines this year
I have my day planned out:
- Take the kids out that day. Maybe some Laser tag and a movie
- Order take out for dinner. Chinese take out has become my Valentine’s Day go-to
- Have a date with my favorite zombie hunters watching The Walking Dead
You can view my post on Lose the Cape which are tips for celebrating for single parents and it’s called Valentine’s Day for the Single Parent
Happy Valentine’s Day and Thanks so much for reading!
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