Update on the Family: What My Family and I Have Been up to

family_rockinrandommom

Oh there is so much to tell all of you lovely readers out there about what’s been going on with my family. There have been some joys but also some sadness. There have been some ups but quite a few downs. We have even had a couple of deaths including my sister’s father, who, despite not being a huge part of my life was the only man I ever called ‘dad’. I am planning on writing a separate post on that soon so stayed tuned.

 

 

 

Oh my boy has been doing so well this year! His first year of high school has been such a positive experience for both of us. Adam struggled with only a few things in the beginning – like trying out for the school plays and not getting a part – that was hard on him but he adjusted well and didn’t give up and it paid off. Finally, he got a part in his first high school musical! He did such an awesome job too!

My boy had some moments where he didn’t want to do it because he didn’t like the lines or the music hurt his ears. At times, between working so hard on his academics and rehearsals for the musical he got overwhelmed and I had to take the helm for him and let him calm himself by giving him the space and time to just breathe and be himself. Conner also helped. That’s family.

(Adam is the tall one in the back with the sailor hat on)

The social aspects of school and the play was hard sometimes. Autism isn’t easy but Adam worked through it like a champ and the end result was honor roll for the first quarter and a great performance at his play. I thought he was done after that though because he was so exhausted by the end of it but he’s going back at it rehearsing for yet another play! His school is also having a presentation on Autism for Autism Awareness month and Adam is going to speak about what he goes through. I’m so excited for him and can’t wait to see what his presentation will be!

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Conner is doing great in the 4th grade. He works hard and has improved tremendously in spelling, reading, and writing. This year he has struggled with the Math a little but he still is his class’s “Math God” and doing his best. He turned 10 in December and we couldn’t afford a party for him but I did make a video of the first ten years of his life. It’s what I did for Adam on his 10th birthday so I did the same for Conner. 10 is a milestone and so far my baby boy is loving it! FYI: That video is too long for my blog apparently and Facebook won’t let me upload it due to it having songs so here is one of him dancing.

Conner is still a Minecraft nerd but now he’s pretty obsessed with Five Nights at Freddy’s. It is a horror game/book/whatever. Just like back during his Angry birds obsession and My little pony obsession, he now has just about every action figure, book, poster, and of course all the plush toys he can get his hands on. I gotta tell ya, this kid is expensive! But he’s worth it. My family is very important to me and my boys are numero uno. It’s been hard getting him to agree to any sort of after school activities but it’s still a work in progress.

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I started getting pretty depressed around Thanksgiving this year and have struggled with it ever since. I found myself in a funk and it didn’t help that right before Christmas my sister’s father passed away.

family_rockinrandommomAs some of you know I have had some car troubles as well. I can’t seem to get away from car troubles for some reason. Seriously, it’s like I’m cursed. I have bad car Karma and have no idea why. Not having a reliable vehicle has played into being stuck in the house way too much. This, of course vamped up my depression. My family has been a great help just by being there. However, when you take away the car, you take away the independence. This just doesn’t work for me.

Staying fit and eating right has also taken a huge dive but there is some good news to be had. I have ordered a couple of Tai Chi and Yoga DVD’s and well, this will also be another post. Perhaps I will start my fitness series again. I’m still dating the person I met last year but I have been keeping that pretty close to my chest. Maybe I will write about him in the future.

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Thanks so much for reading!

 

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I have linked up with:

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Rockin’ Quote #32: If He is Not Worthy

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Recently I came across this quote on a shirt that was being sold through one of those ads on Facebook. I am a bit obsessed with Vikings these days and viking lore. I am also obsessed with the TV show on the History channel. Anyway, this shirt, and several others were being sold through a viking page that I liked. I saw this quote and knew I had to have the shirt but the quote means so much more. “If he is not worthy” is only the start of the quote. Let me show you what I mean.

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I love this quote and it holds even more meaning these days than it ever did before. Sex and love are no longer seen in today’s society as something special. In fact, we’ve become so desensitized to it that we have forgotten how to set boundaries. Or even what boundaries are. Do we even know anymore? But the bigger issue isn’t that love and sex have become so mainstream that we don’t even blink an eye at the pure absurdity of the abuse of it. No, that’s not the real problem. We are so obsessed with showing the world that we are free, independent individuals capable of doing whatever we want, with whoever we want that we have lost our self-respect.

Many people these days seem to be confused about what love and respect really mean so let’s break it down:

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There are about a million different definitions for Love. These I got from Webster dictionary.

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Again, from Webster dictionary. Self-love and self-respect is basically turned inward. I just want to make that clear.

And I’m not just talking about women here. Both sexes seem to have lost self-respect. Here’s the thing about respect. Just like they say that you have to love yourself before you can love someone else. Well, the same rings true for respect. Now, I’m not saying you have to be celibate until you find “the one” or wait until marriage. I’m not trying to preach here. What I am saying is that we have forgotten the meaning of love and respect and we have forgotten to set boundaries with ourselves and with others.

What it really comes down to is your own sense of self. Who are you? How do you want to live your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Saying he is not worthy (and I also mean she because this does go for men and women) is saying this: If you can’t be there for me, stand beside in my darkest moments, you are not worthy of my time. We have a really bad habit of giving too much of ourselves to people who take advantage of us or take us for granted. When you stop to think about it, at the end of the day they only care about what you give to them. There is no regard for your needs or your happiness.

To others this quote could be just about sex. To me though, it’s about so much more than that. This is something I also feel is important to teach my boys. As a mother I don’t just teach them to respect women. I teach them to respect themselves. Saying a person is not worthy isn’t saying that person isn’t a good person. It’s saying that person is not worthy of your time and your energy. Even a good person can treat another badly. Don’t waste it on the wrong people. You deserve better than that.

Thanks so much for reading!

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I am linking this with:

Cuddle Fairy
Diary of an imperfect mum

 

 

 

Rockin’ Quote #31: Know Your Worth

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So Happy New Year everyone! I’m back with a brand new quote that I am piggy backing off of my previous post about 2016, which you can read HERE Know your worth. I love this quote because this past year has been a real challenge for me. True, 2015 was an even bigger challenge, when I put things into perspective, but 2016 was supposed to be better. It wasn’t.

It challenged my mental health in quite a few ways but the biggest way was through job searches and several attempts at improving my resume. Just the other day I finally realized that I need to remove a job from my list of experiences due to the lack of positive references. This isn’t something I have wanted to do before. After all, experience is experience and every little bit helps, right? Well, maybe not. Especially since that particular job had such a negative impact on me. My self-confidence in the work force plummeted because of my experience there. As my mental health also suffered. This quote helps me to remember who I am and what I’m worth.

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This past year I have doubted myself all too often. I sent out lots of resumes and cover letters. Both of these need to be improved. In 2015, I went on a few interviews that made me realize I need to improve my interview skills. All of these things though, have made me seriously question what I have to offer the world. Anyone who has questioned this knows this is not a good place to be.

It set me back on my journey of healing because of course whenever I start to doubt myself, I find myself wondering if my family was right about me all along. That I’m not good enough. I know better than that but still.  Acknowledging my flaws comes second nature, maybe for most of us. We are very familiar with our faults. But we don’t often understand or even know what our strengths are. This causes us to downplay our own worth. Not just our worth in the work place but our worth in general. Then I tell myself this quote: Acknowledge your flaws but know your worth.

I am reminded of George Bailey in It’s a Wonderful Life. Remember him? His life mattered to so many people yet he didn’t view himself as very valuable. He struggled to make ends meet for his family, his co-workers, and his town and because of that his self-doubt got the best of him. He didn’t know his own worth.

I am making it a point to remind myself of my own worth. You should too. Always know your worth and know that you are so important to the people in your life.

Thanks so much for reading!

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I am linking this with:

Cuddle Fairy

 

Why 2016 Sucked! And the Good that Came from it

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So some of you may have noticed that I have been MIA lately. I’d say I’ve been gone for quite some time. Even when I wrote a post, I wasn’t fully engaged with my blog or with all of you. There are a few reasons but the main one is that 2016 turned out to be a major disappointment for me. In other words, 2016 sucked ass!

I’m not into making new year’s resolutions but I did set some goals for myself throughout 2016, none of which panned out. I failed to meet any of them and when I fail at something, I tend to become my own worst enemy. When that happens, depression starts to seep in and take hold. Depression is something I have struggled with my whole life. Most days I win the battle. However, there have been some days where getting out of bed has proven to be my biggest obstacle.

2016_rockinrandommomFor example, one goal I set for myself this year was to finish one of my novels. I also planned to publish my first e-book by December. Neither happened. I have felt uninspired to write much. I think maybe it has to do with productivity or rather, the lack thereof. Not working and not having the proper transportation to work has taken it’s toll. Sending out resumes left and right and not receiving any responses or opportunities for job interviews has been an obstacle. With no inspiration and no job prospects in sight for 2016, feeling a sense of purpose was virtually non-existent and that has somewhat hindered my mental health.

I have also not worked out or gone for a hike in something like 6 months or so. You all know that I thrive and feel so much better about myself and about life when I am able to get outdoors and go for my hikes. Failure to do so this past year has made me realize how much I need it in my life.

Then to end the year with the complete freak show of our so-called presidential election… Well, I won’t even get into that. I’ve already written my take on that so consider this subject matter closed. I am not the only one who had it rough this year. I have spoken to several people who could not wait for 2016 to end.

2016_rockinrandommom 2016 hasn’t been all doom and gloom though. When I feel this down about my life I remind myself of the things I do have. I have my health. I have my wonderful boys who are doing so well that their happiness keeps me afloat and I tell myself that at least I’m doing something right. They remind me every day that life isn’t all about these secondary things. Life is so much more if we simply take the time to see it.

I also know that I must be doing something right somewhere because the universe has seen fit to add a new person to my life. Of the romantic sort. In September I met someone. He and I have been doing well but the best part is we are taking the time to really get to know each other. Only a few people know about him. My boys do not. I’m not one of those parents who introduces her kids to the first person they date right away. I am taking my sweet time with this one because I want to make sure I’m ready and my boys are ready. He understands this and it makes me appreciate him more.

2016_gratitude_rockinrandommomThis romance was completely unexpected too. I wasn’t looking for anything. Neither was he. We hit it off right away though, talking like we’ve known each other our whole lives. He’s funny and sweet. He’s romantic but in a fun way. He’s not over the top, which I really like. He’s so understanding too. He understands that my ex is a part of my life and that I love my kids more than anything. Best of all, he’s genuine. He’s honest and straight forward with me without being mean or disrespectful.

Then there is my best friend. She and I have gotten each other through a lot of tough times this past year. There were a lot of late night texts and phone calls that witnessed many bitch sessions and shed tears. I am so glad she is in my life.

Maybe the beginning of this post was a little misleading but as I reflect on 2016, I realize just how blessed I am and I am happy. The ex-husband has become a good friend. Adam and Conner are growing and thriving every day. My best friend and I are closer than we’ve ever been and I have a truly amazing man who only adds smiles and laughter to my days.

2016 sucked but let’s think positive! May 2017 be our Year!!

Thanks so much for reading!

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I am linking this with:

 

Cuddle Fairy
Diary of an imperfect mum
Modern Dad Pages

Rockin’ Post #30: Eat Your Soul

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I made this quote back in September but then things got really crazy and I kept forgetting about it. Haha! Yep! That’s me. Between the start of school and everything else that was on my plate I just plain forgot. So I guess this quote is perfect. Don’t let the world eat your soul. I’ll explain in a minute.

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I had this as a mantra for myself back during my therapy days when my head was all sorts of screwed up and my demons were wreaking havoc on my life. Since then, I have met so many people who deal with some form of depression or other mental illness who are on a battlefield with the succubus that is there to take their souls. for many out there on this battlefield of mental anguish, it is every single day. Each new battle brings new problems. They don’t get a break to breath or take in the sunshine. It is constant for them. To them I say, don’t let it eat your soul. If despair takes over and depression wins, your soul will be lost.

While I am talking on a mostly metaphorical level about mythological creatures and what have you, this is a very real thing for those suffering from depression and other mental illness. However, this also applies to those who are just going through hard times. Hard times that seem to go on and on and on…much like the energizer bunny.

The long and short of it is, sometimes life just sucks! Sometimes when it rains it pours and there seems to be nothing we can do about it. But if we keep moving forward and keeping looking up, our souls will remain in tact. This is especially in these uncertain times we are living in. With the new President most are scared. We are uncertain of our future but we must keep moving forward. So, don’t let the world eat your soul.

What do you think?

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I am linking this with:

Cuddle Fairy